The Journey to Clarity: My 72-Hour Reset

To understand my purpose, you need to know my journey

Life is a relentless storm, and for years, I found myself caught in its chaos—fighting against the challenges of failure, loss, and uncertainty. My life has been an uphill battle. From failed businesses to personal failures, from mental fog to emotional exhaustion, I felt like I was walking backward, lost in a maze with no clear path forward.

But then, I made a choice—a bold, necessary, and life-changing decision. I gave myself a 72-hour gift, a break that was patiently waiting for 29 years. I took on a 3-day solo retreat on the Mendocino coastline in California, a trip that would redefine my mindset, reconnect me with my purpose, and set the foundation for the next chapter of my life.

To understand why this retreat was so necessary, I need to acknowledge the trials that led me here. My life has been a series of battles, lessons wrapped in struggle, moments that tested my body.

My father left when I was young, leaving my mother, my sister, and me to navigate life on our own. His absence created a void in my confidence and emotional stability. Without a strong male role model, I often questioned my worth and my ability to make sound decisions.

My mother was forced to declare bankruptcy due to an absentee husband who failed to provide child support. We faced adversity head-on, but the scars remained. I witnessed firsthand the stress and pain she endured, working tirelessly to make ends meet and sacrificing her own well-being for the sake of her children.

I spent middle and high school struggling to focus, feeling like the traditional education system wasn’t built for me. I struggled to pay attention, retain information, and stay motivated. School structure felt suffocating, and I often felt like an outsider, unsure of my future or capabilities.

Losing my grandma, aunt, and uncle at a young age plunged me into a quiet emotional state where grief lingered, unprocessed and unresolved. The reality of mortality hit me hard, leaving me with questions about the fragility of life and the importance of meaningful relationships, both of which I struggled with for years.

I didn’t know how to overcome my challenges for much of my childhood. I didn’t realize the subconscious damage that was shaping my present-day decisions. I often viewed myself as a product of my circumstances rather than an agent of change in my own life. I had wise people around me, but I was not smart, engaged or focused enough to make actual positive change.

When my mother met my stepfather, I learned what it meant to build new relationships and redefine what family could look like. He provided a sense of stability and guidance that had been absent for so long, and I slowly began to understand the power of mentorship and positive male influence.

I enrolled in community college, completed less than 15 credits, and walked away, feeling lost, uncertain, and searching for my path. The pressure to conform to traditional academic success weighed heavily on me, but I knew deep down that my future would not be found in the confines of a classroom.

Despite the setbacks, I found peace in hard work and technology. At 10 years old, I immersed myself in computers, learning to code, build complicated systems, and master skills that my peers thought were “nerdy.” I played lots of video games, struggled with focus, and found myself drifting through life without a clear direction. However, technology became my escape, my way of creating something from nothing, of finding order in a chaotic world.

In and out of relationships—some toxic, some just misguided—I met my now wife, Olivia, in 2014. She became my anchor, along with her family and the support that I received to extend my family into hers, and the connection that we created over the past decade built where we are today. Our shared struggles and our desire to grow together laid the foundation for a partnership rooted in resilience and love. She helped me see beyond my failures and recognize my potential, encouraging me to embrace both my strengths and my weaknesses.

Although my life has progressively gotten better over the years, there were five key things that really created a challenge, but it was these challenges that ultimately made me stronger:

1. Loss of My Brother-in-Law – In 2021, I lost a man who had been a mentor, a source of wisdom, and a symbol of what a meaningful life surrounded by family could look like. His passing due to the medical mishandling of the COVID era left a void in my life. He had shown me what a future filled with purpose, faith, and family could be. Losing him felt like losing a map to the life I wanted.

2. More Loss & Business Failures – I lost other loved ones, faced betrayals in business, and felt the weight of personal and professional disappointments. Every attempt to build something meaningful seemed to crumble, and I questioned whether I was truly cut out for success.

3. Facing My Father – In 2022, after nearly 20 years, I addressed my fractured relationship with my father, choosing peace over resentment. It was a confrontation with my past that I had long avoided, but I needed to move forward without the burden of unresolved emotions.

4. Therapy & Growth – Through therapy, personal development, and mindfulness, I realized that failure wasn’t my enemy—it was my greatest teacher. I learned that growth comes from discomfort, and that my past did not have to dictate my future

5. My Final Blow – In late 2024, I suffered back-to-back concussions in less than a month, a part that left me mentally and physically drained, forcing me into a state of healing and adaptation. My body and mind were pushed to their limits, and for the first time, I had no choice but to slow down and truly listen to what I needed.

The Turning Point Was My Retreat of Self-discovery

When life forces you to your knees, you have two choices—stay down or rise stronger. I chose the latter.

My solo retreat was an invitation to silence the noise, confront my fears, and give myself permission to breathe. Over the course of 72 hours, I took on a guided journey of reflection, healing, and transformation. For the first time in years, I wasn’t reacting—I was resetting. This retreat gave me clarity. It reconnected me with my priorities. It reminded me that, despite my introverted nature, solitude isn’t isolation—it’s recalibration.

This truly is only the beginning. I aim to write more so others on a similar path, place, or time can learn as much as possible from real people like me, who have been through a lot. I have learned that taking action can reclaim my life, embrace growth, and forge a future driven by intention.

In the next article, I will break down the specifics of my retreat—the practices, the breakthroughs, and the powerful realizations that shaped my transformation. If you’ve ever felt lost, if you’ve ever struggled with self-doubt, if you’ve ever needed a moment to reset your life—stay tuned.

Because failure is not an option, and neither is standing still.

Stay with me. The journey continues.